Unhealthy Observations
by dsmldejection
Summary: A rework on what happened when Bella's first day at Forks High. Very intense, good read. Mostly if not all Edward's POV. Sure to please those who like a good, depressing story!
1. Chapter 1

**EPOV**

Looking up from an elk, I heard a noise. The grass was being crushed by something, though I could not make it out. With a raise of my eyebrow I relied closer on my extra sense, and was quickly awarded with the maker of such racket. I laughed and jumped, grabbing the elk on the way, as Emmett barreled out from the brush. He was fast, putting the full movement of his massive arms into each step, but I rose quickly above him and landed behind him.

"Cheater!" He yelled out, making a sharp turn in one bound back towards me. I brushed the dirt off my pants and sprang again, this time leaving the elk to distract him. I could see him lick his lips childishly and speed up toward the carcass. This time I did not move my body, but let myself fall to the ground from where I'd jumped from. Landing silently on my feet, I brushed off my hands and tugged on Emmett's shirt.

"Come on, Emmett. The girls must be ready by now, and our first period teacher's will be thoroughly irritated if we show up late..." I turned and started back toward the house. In a flicker of white I saw Emmett race past me, still licking blood from his lips.

"_Again_, brother? When are you going to loosen up! We've only gone through school like fifty times. Give it a rest!" His booming laugh disrupted the forest and sent everything running. I merely shook my head and sped up.

As I reached Emmett, I was pulled to a stop by a sickening blackness. I knew from experience that Alice was having a vision. I simply cleared my throat to let Emmett know I was stopping, and then sat down lightly to let the vision pass through Alice and come to me. Before long the blackness turned to white, the brightest, purest white I'd ever seen. My throat ached and throbbed and I laid flat on the ground, hoping to escape the pain. The _hunger_. I moaned slowly and painfully and tried to sit up, but was pushed back down again.

I heard a shift in the house just a few miles up and Alice quickly concentrated and shut me out of her thoughts. Bewildered, I shook my head trying to clear my thoughts, and stood, walking back home. My family was waiting when I opened the back door. A quick scope of their collective thoughts almost made me laugh.

"Oh, come on now! It was just an odd reaction to Alice's vision. It's happened before, I'm sure it'll happen again." I rolled my eyes and turned to walk past them.

_Never that intense, Edward, and you know it._ Alice again, of course. She was quite the meddler. I gave her a stern look and walked up stairs to change my clothes. Having to wrestle with Emmett had made me spill my food all over my clothes. I was surprised, noticing this, that Alice hadn't so much as looked at the stain. I shook my head, clearing it of all thoughts once more, and turned on the stereo. Classical music drifted lightly through the room, and I was at peace.

* * *

**A/N:**

For those of you who've read my work before, I prefer writing in Edward's point of view, and most readers prefer reading it that way. Sometimes when the situation calls for it, I'll throw in another point of view, usually Bella's.

This was just a starter chapter to kinda get me going. If I don't post it as I write it, I rethink everything and try to make changes, and I get confused. It's better this way. Trust me, hah.

Okay, so please review. Of course there'll be major happenings. I've got this whole story planned out and I must tell you, it gets going unbelievably fast. That's part of why I just had to throw out this one chapter of a bit calmer stuff, seeing as the rest is way intense.

Stick with me and you won't be disappointed!

-dsmldejection


	2. Chapter 2

**EPOV**

I was pulled from my thoughts with a light tap on the door. I found myself sitting in a tense position, eyes closed and hands balled into tight fists. I opened my eyes and hands and stood, opening the door.

"Hello, Alice. What can I do for you this morning?" Her eyes were focused, and she chewed carefully on her bottom lip.

"May I come in, Edward? I'd like to have a _private _conversation with you." I listened carefully as Jasper sighed and turned to an old magazine. The rest of the house was alive with movement and disinterest in our talking.

"Of course." I backed to the side and held out my hand. Alice came and sat on the leather couch, one leg tucked tightly under her.

"What's bothering you--" Alice lifted her finger and listened, as did I. The house sounded the same, and judging by the family's thoughts, they were not listening.

"Save it, Edward. Don't try to sway me with common pleasantries. What was that, in the forest? You've never had such an immense reaction to a vision of mine! You couldn't even think to close out your mind! I had to close out mine!" Her whisper was strained now and growing louder, angrier; into more of a growl.

"Didn't you feel that... that _thirst_, Alice? It was horrible, almost unbearable." I swallowed hard, remembering the pain that came with it.

"Correction, it _was_ unbearable. I could hear you, you know. I know you had to lie down to try and escape it. I felt a bit of a tickle in my throat but nothing as strong as you had. I think maybe you should stay home today, Edward. I'm sure you've got a _lot_ of sick days built up. Take one, relax. Go out and sit in your meadow." Her eyes pleaded with me. Her determination was irritating me. She never pushed this hard for anything of this matter.

"You know we've a test today in English, don't you? I'd rather not miss it because I'd have to miss another day's lecture, I'd be playing catch up--" She cut me off again.

"For about twenty minutes, tops, Edward? Please, don't pull that on me, we all move through homework like nothing." I sighed heavily and stood up from the couch.

"I don't know what you're worried about, Alice, but I'm going to school today. That's final." She squinted at me and stood with a huff. I followed her out of the room and shot a look to every one of my family members, who had all frozen in place and listened to our argument.

"Are we ready, then?" There was a painfully long silence, and then everyone nodded and headed for the door. As was usual, we all piled into my Volvo, but for a change, Alice did not sit up front with me. Instead, she sat in the middle of the backseat. Jasper sat behind me, Rosalie to the right of Alice, and Emmett sat in the front seat. He wasted no time, getting to work on finding a radio station that I was sure to hate and turned it up extremely loud. The ride was a quiet one despite the music, and was awkward as we stepped tensely out of the car and drifted absently to our respective classes. Alice, who shared most classes with me, did not let me walk her to our class, but instead stayed behind a moment to chat with Jasper before walking herself. I paid little attention to the lectures, reading the teacher's mind when asked a question and speeding too fast through the English test I'd put such hype into.

By the time the lunch period came I was sorry I'd come. I nearly laughed to myself at how much I would have enjoyed a day off _more_ than this. I was silent in picking my lunch without thought, and sat down at our family's table. I took the time in solitude to make amends with Alice.

"I apologize for my behavior this morning, Alice. It was inexcusable. I know you were just looking out for me. Come to think of it, I really do wish I'd stayed home today. School has been a bore so far, don't you think?" Alice, barely making eye contact with me for a second, was concentrating very hard. On what, I could not tell, for she was once again setting barriers around her thoughts.

I sighed and turned to pick at my food. I nearly gagged at the triangular food on my tray and began grabbing the drier part and pulling it to pieces in my fingers. Soon after, Emmett, Rose, and Jasper joined us, their classes having had run late. I had long since obliterated my food when the doors to the cafeteria opened, and she stepped in.

As if with a movie entrance, the wind picked up marvelously strong outside and nearly blew the doors off their hinges. The girl's hair rustled in the wind, whipping this way and that, and I watched as she stumbled into the room. Her scent spun and circled in past the other students and moved past our table in a jumbled mess. The others twitched slightly-- Jasper's twitch a little more animated-- and I stood, not realizing what I was doing. I could feel their eyes bore into the back of my head as I picked up my food and went to dump the tray.

Alice's mind was forced now into mine. She did not mean for this to happen, and did not guard her thoughts from me. _Please, leave the room. Please, leave the room. Please..._ her thoughts begged and chanted to me, and I disregarded them completely. I took a painfully long time to dump my tray, and just as I turned, I literally bumped into her.

Her smell did not leave any unturned stone. My entire head did a back flip, and I blinked heavily trying to regain composure. It did not come to me. I smiled seductively and lifted my finger, beckoning her to follow me. Her large, chocolate brown eyes seemed to agree, and she dumped her tray without eating any of the purchased food and followed me out the door. Alice was in my head purposely this time.

_Edward! _She screamed. _What are you doing? Are you _trying_ to draw attention to yourself? Control it! Control the need! Why didn't you stay home? Why didn't you stay home... Why didn't you..._

I closed out my mind and walked confidently ahead of the brown eyed angel. I did a quick survey on the lack of security camera, passing teacher, or even late student. Each laughed along with me in my mind and I brought her to a small wooded area behind the mathematics building. She did not speak as I turned and stopped her dead in her tracks.

She did not move as I leaned in, my lips wavering lightly above hers. She did not flinch as I ran my nose across her cheek and down her neck, taunting myself with her very being. And she did not scream as I bit down into her flesh.

For my hand was clamped lovingly across her beautifully terrified mouth.

* * *

**A/N:**

Okay, maybe that was kind of a filler chapter too. I don't know. I think you should be glad though if this is your first time reading my work. Sometimes I drag it out for too long and by the last couple of chapter's I'm long since done with the story.

This time the story will move fast, and I will be on to another story. I personally like this better.

It's only been an hour or two, but I haven't gotten any reviews. Oh well. People don't ever review, I shouldn't be surprised.

Rambling! Review if you love me!

-dsmldejection


	3. Chapter 3

**EPOV**

Her blood was warm and inviting on my lips. My tongue. My throat. I felt my eyes slide backward into my skill a bit as I relished in the smell of her. The taste of her. The sight of her. I could barely focus, but what I could see through the haze was her oddly pale skin. Her pained, large, and brown eyes. I felt I could swim in them, until her eyes slowly drooped and she grew limp. Her heart continued to beat, despite the alarming amount of blood drained from her body. I did not hear as the crowd approached, until a patch of grass crunched just feet before me.

My head slowly pulled up, and my eyes moved forward even slower. I knew I recognized them-- the small dark haired one, the large man, the beautiful girl with long, flowing blonde hair. But my relation to them I could not pinpoint. The dark haired girl's eyes were pained, and she whispered my name, pleadingly so. I heard her say another name, though her lips did not move.

_Bella._

My eyes suddenly flickered without my knowing to the larger one, who was approaching slowly. I released the brown-eyed angel from my teeth and into my hands, and my top lip raised, showing my blood stained teeth. The large man paused slightly but still approached. This time I felt a snarl build in my throat. Grabbing the brown-eyed angel, I turned and bolted up into a tree. I used the slight bowing it made to push off and land lightly on my feet, running faster than I realized. The brown-eyed angel's breathing was slow and careful, much different from my animalistic and needing pant.

I ran faster than the two women did, and I dodged trees faster than the large man. I looked down again to the angel and saw the gaping wound I'd left, and the luscious blood leaking from it. I could not help myself despite the pursuit as I stopped and bent to the ground, feeding on her again. This time I did not watch. I knew she would be stolen from me soon, so I sucked harder than ever before, trying to drain every last drop of liquid from her body. Her breathing stopped as did her heart, and I was pulled from her body. A high pitched whine was present in my ear, completely blocking out all sound. The large one grasped me around my waist and quickly tucked my arms in as well once I began clawing at his arms. The blonde one pulled my angel away and the small dark haired one smacked me.

I snarled and kicked in anger. She smacked me again. This time I could hear her, for the noise in my ear went away.

"Edward Anthony Cullen! Stop this! Do you know what you're doing? You've killed a girl! An innocent little girl! You were supposed to love her!" I blinked heavily and shook my head, trying to rid my mind of all thought. I opened my eyes again and saw Rosalie in the back round, and Alice standing in front of me, hands balled into fists, jaw set tight. She smacked me again. My angel was gone.

"Alice it's me. I'm here. You can stop hitting me." I admitted with a sigh. I looked down at the ground, ashamed at what I noticed I'd just done.

"Look at me." Alice demanded. I obliged and met her eyes in time to see her hand meet my skin again.

"Why didn't you listen to me, Edward? I told you to stay home! Do you think I'm completely naive?" She panted now as I had before. I did not answer her.

Looking back down to the ground, I whispered, "Emmett, will you please let me down?" I could see in Alice's mind as he looked to her for approval. I watched as she nodded and collapsed to the ground with a low thud.

I felt Alice's hand on my shoulder. It was much more pleasant there than on my cheek. I stood slowly and hugged her without feeling. As near to silence as I could muster, I whispered in her ear.

"Good bye." She gasped and pulled away to meet my eyes. Hers held confusion. Mine held embarrassment, humiliation, and lost determination. I turned on a dime and ran. Ran away from my life. Ran away from my family.

And ran away from my would-be love. I held my breath for at least twenty miles after running past her carcass. I looked in passing at the mess I'd made. Her skin was blood stained and her eyes were closed. Heavenly, almost. I pushed that image away as soon as I'd analyzed it and pushed harder to run faster. Instead, I grasped the image of her just before I'd turned to bring her to her demise. I held tightly on to the image of her large brown eyes. The feeling of her soft, fragile skin. The quiet silence of her mind. And wondered what her thoughts held, which I could not access.

* * *

**A/N:**

Wow, two reviews. You guys are special...

Thanks to those who did review. Special thanks to you, guria414. You know why. -winks-

I liked this chapter... I really do enjoy the animal in Edward. He's so fun... Plus that whole thing where he hugs Alice and says good bye, it sounds so horror-movie to me! Like I can picture him sometimes with this sadistic smile... Of course this good bye was a more sorrowful thay a sadistic smile doesn't fit in...

You get what I mean. I'm a visual writer... And I guess I don't mean that so much as that I describe it better... I just describe the scene as I see it, and that leaves a bit of room for you guys to ad lib a little. I guess it's a little like Steph's writing, in a way.

Anyway, hope you all enjoyed. I'm going back right now to go and write more, so maybe with this story I'll have up somewhere around two chapters every day. The story line for this one doesn't go that far, so it'll probably be over within this week...

Hopefully you'll read my other work too! -cough-

-dsmldejection


	4. Chapter 4

**EPOV**

On my way out of Washington, I made a big decision, more for Alice and my family than myself. I would leave for a while... until this all calmed down. Until she stopped appearing in everyone's thoughts. Until the tragic accident was nearly forgotten. Once that happened, I would return when ready. I would come home and live with my family again, and go to school, go on hunting trips... everything that together spelled normal life for them. I listened as they all stopped and then turned back toward home. I slowed down and nearly meandered across state boundaries.

For nearly a month I did not feed. I stopped somewhere in northern Idaho, somewhere that had an outcropping of rock to sit under when it rained, and a shallow pond to draw an animal's interest. I tested myself, watching in the shadows as each animal came and drank a while, then slowly turned and trotted off back to it's life. When no animal was present I would look at myself in the mirror of the water. I watched for that month as my eyes darkened from bright, bloody red to coal black.

Finally, nearly a month to date, a father deer broke through the brush and bent for a drink. I felt my eye twitch a bit and I fell forward onto my hands and knees. The deer looked up and at me and ran. I caught it as soon as it broke through the brush and dragged it back to the rock outcropping. I drank it and the rest of it's family and let out a good, painful, and sadly dry sob soon after.

I watched during my monthly vacation as the last of the leaves fell off the trees, the snow built, and then began to melt. I waited for another two weeks after all trace of red had left from my eyes. I tested myself a bit and then filled my belly to the brim before returning home.

The sun was setting to my right as I walked up the drive. My eyes were the brightest gold they'd ever been in my life. My hair was now so tussled that it was no longer considered 'fashionable'. My clothes were stained, wrinkled, and dirty. And my shoes were wet and dirty from the melted snow puddles on my trek home. Despite this gnarly look, Esme still hugged me tightly when I returned home. She did not let me go for almost five minutes, and the rest of my family was nearly the same.

Emmett rustled my hair, Rosalie held my hand comfortingly, Carlisle hugged me, and Jasper and I put a hand on each other's shoulder, exchanging a meaningful look. I had new respect for him, it seemed.

Alice's heart was not so easily won over. She was the last I saw, standing awkwardly in the back round. Jokingly I placed my hand on my cheek where she'd smacked me all those times.

"Erm, sorry." She said, hands held protectively behind her back.

"I'm sorry too. You didn't deserve that. I should have listened to you... I'll never doubt you again. Forgive me?" My eyes were pleading and she was silent for a moment. I broke out my crooked smile and she laughed.

"Of course, Edward. Now please, come in and shower for god's sake. You look like you just climbed out of a hole." I nodded and walked inside, up the stairs, and locked myself in my room.

While in the shower, my mind was attacked by the thought of the angel I'd mangled so long ago. I closed my eyes and placed my hand on the wall for support. I gave myself in full to the image, and breathed slow, shallow breaths.

The angel sat on a steep ledge above the ocean below, her feet hanging out of sight. I stood a ways back behind her and watched. The wind blew from behind me and blew her long, brown hair forward. It's movement exposed the large mark I'd left on her neck. Suddenly the wind shifted and blew her scent to me. My mouth watered with venom and my eyes grew focused. I walked forward and placed my hand on her shoulder. I paused, wondering why I did this. Why I didn't just pounce and suck her dry once more.

She turned and placed her fragile hand on mine. With a smile she held my hand on her shoulder and stood, her heels hanging off the ledge. Her eyes grew droopy as I remembered painfully when I'd killed her. She leaned forward and placed her lips against my ear.

"I love you," She whispered, and she let my hand go. It felt cold now, missing her warm touch. I was pulled from the thought when I watched her fall off the cliff, out of view. My feet would not move, and I could not save her. With a gasp I was finally pulled from my day dreaming, and I shook, turning the water off. The warmth I'd felt on my hand and shoulder, I found, must have been the water which I noticed was on the hottest setting.

I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around myself before drying and changing into clothing. I paid no attention to what I wore. While towel drying my hair I realized that my eyes were coal black again, far from the gold they'd been what felt like just seconds before. I slipped my head out the door and listened to the house. All was still, my family all in their respective rooms. Silently I walked down the stairs and out the back door for a hunt.

I was shocked to see the sun was now to my left. I'd spent the entire night, day dreaming about her in my shower. How strange that sounded, but it was the truth. Before long I'd finished a few animals and was heading back home. I checked the clock on the kitchen wall as I walked in and realized it was just about time to leave from school. I shuttered, remembering what had happened just hours later after this time a few months ago.

Esme snuck up on me and walked into the kitchen, puttering around, cleaning counters that were already spotless. She noticed me watching and smiled, placing the rag down in the sink and walked over to me. She fixed the collar on my shirt and patted it down lovingly.

"Are you going to school today, Edward?" She asked, emotion gone from her voice. She could not hide the worry from me, though.

"Yes, Esme. Why was I gone so long? What do the humans think?" She smiled slightly.

"You were visiting Carlisle's brothers in Virginia. Your aunt and uncle, obviously." I nodded.

"Alright then. Thank you." I smiled and she returned the favor. I moved past her and opened the door, but she called for me quietly.

"Edward..." I turned back to her.

"Yes, mom?" She smiled but it quickly faded.

"Are you absolutely sure you're ready? Can you really handle this?" I listened to the sound of the water rushing from the shower in her mind, a memory of her worry for me last night when I failed to come out of the shower.

"Yes. I tested myself and I believe I'm ready." She nodded and I left to go stand by the door.

The ride to school was much looser, easier than it'd been all those months ago. Alice returned to my side in the front seat and we laughed smoothly the whole way. When we arrived we were still laughing but quickly quieted once the doors opened.

My smile faded quickly as my mind loosened and my extra sense heightened. Soon my eyes were stressed and my mouth set into a lowly frown. I looked to Jasper and noticed his stance, also almost as tense as mine. My head turned slowly toward the school, and my frown grew as I stepped into the wall of memories.

* * *

**A/N:**

-sigh-

Two reviews, again? Wow... either guria414 and Violi are high off their rockers and are reviewing a really crappy story, or the rest of you guys are really mean. HAHA!

Anyway, I do love my cliffhanger endings. I think I do that so that while I'm responding to reviews and uploading chapters, I've got dialogue and situations running through my head at like a million miles an hour. Next chapter should be oodles and oodles of stress for Edward. -wink-

Chapter dedication to my ONLY reviewers, guria414 and Violi. You guys... -sniffle- are my heart and soul.

Review, damn you... rest of you! -cough-

-dsmldejection


	5. Chapter 5

**EPOV**

With sudden and bewildering realization, I realized her name was Bella. My angel, the angel of my dreams and tormenting nightmares, was Bella. Her existence now had a concrete feeling in my gut, and I pictured all those molecules of blood I'd held in me all belonged to Bella.

The day at school was worse than the first day of school here. Everyone stared at me, as they had on our first day. They all whispered behind my back, wondering where I'd been and why I was back. It was worse though, because I was not the only stranger on their minds.

Despite the interest in me, Bella was the main attraction. An animal attacked her. Left her for dead. She'd wandered off property for some reason we'd never know, hit her head-- a change made by the careful hand of Carlisle-- and while unconscious been devoured. She did not feel a thing-- fear or pain or any other emotion that would scare the humans. Few had gotten the chance to meet her, but those who did shared about her to the others. They spoke at her funeral as did her father... everyone in town was there, even her mother and step father from Arizona. No eye was dry...

Alice pulled me from my trance. I found myself sitting in class somehow, elbows on the table, head in my hands. She placed a hand on my shoulder and sat down just as the bell rang. The day was a blurry flood of pain, memories not my own, and endless greetings from unknowing teachers. My aunt and uncle were fine, thanks for asking.

By lunch I was exhausted. My once bright shining eyes were dull and nearing black. My throat tickled as I returned to pulling apart the sad excuse for lunch. I did not speak to my family, for their minds kept me preoccupied. It seemed in my absence they'd forgotten my extra sense. That, or they didn't care to quiet their minds.

My life was center stage in their thoughts as well. Alice endlessly searched through my future, taking a break from searching Jaspers. It was a futile attempt, for I was so confused and undecided she could not have found a coherent decision past the very second if she'd killed herself trying. Jasper worried about me, but spent most of his time thinking of Alice. Sending her calming waves that she quickly pushed off and continued searching. Emmett watched me and was concentrating on sprinting techniques if I tried to run again. He'd been working on them since my return. They all expected me to leave again, and I was tempted to make the fear come true for them.

Alice's eyes glazed over with the thought of this and she glared at me. I smiled a half, sheepish grin and scratched my head. She shook her head slightly and went back to concentrating. I bent over once more and continued pulling food to pieces. With a slight change in breathing I realized that this was what Bella had had when I bumped into her. My fingers twitched quickly away from it and I laid my hands in my lap. Still hunched slightly over the tray, I slipped into a day dream again, with my angel-- Bella, as it were-- as the star of the show once more.

This time, I was sitting where she had. My legs hung over the edge, and I could now clearly see the waves crash against the shore far below me. With a shock I felt her hand on my shoulder once more. I looked up to her and she held her hands out to me. I held mine out in response and she sat silently in my lap. She laid her head on my shoulder and traced little shapes on the back of my hand.

Bella's neck sat just inches from my lips. Closing my eyes, I bent my head down and felt my lips flow slowly across her skin. I moved up her neck and over her jaw, up to her lips and back down again. I was happy and smiled quietly against her. I opened my eyes slowly and looked to her. I gasped, seeing her eyes were closed. I listened closely and did not hear her breathe or her heart beat. I gasped and looked farther down and realized she was how I'd left her those months ago. Blood and skin stained with blood, her neck gnarled like I remembered seeing. I took a deep breath, meaning to calm myself, and could taste her blood in the air. My eyes went wide and I bent down to lick her neck.

The wail of the buzz for the end of lunch jerked me out of my nightmare. I blinked heavily and looked up at my family. Each one stared at me, and I straightened up, stood, and walked out the door. The rest of the day passed in a similar blur as it had that morning, only this time I nearly hurt myself I was concentrating so hard. I did not let my mind wander to any other thought-- or anyone else's thoughts, for that matter-- and took more detailed notes than I thought I ever had before. I waited with an impatient, tapping foot by the car for my siblings to meander from class and traveled too fast back home.

I accidentally slammed the door as I walked from the car and rushed upstairs, locking myself in my room once more. I sat on the couch and thought for a moment, trying to regain my composure. My room smelled odd... stuffy and confining as it seemed. I drifted to the massive window and opened it as wide as it would go. I stood there for a moment, taking deep breaths, and tried to clear my head. I closed my eyes and backed over to the couch, trying as hard as I could to just be... numb.

I laid on the couch and took another deep breath. My brow furrowed as the sultry scent of freesia drifted into the space. My eyes snapped open and I sat up, straight as a board. I racked my brain to remember why I recognized the smell. I sifted through decades of my life trying to pinpoint where the smell of freesia had originated, and came up with that horrid day months before. My mind flickered back to the moment before I bit into her, nose lying directly above artery. The smell resembled freesia, and I smiled remembering her. My angel. My Bella.

I drifted back into day dream for what felt like the hundredth time today. This time, the cliff wasn't cloudy as it'd been before. The sun shone brightly and the wind was now a pleasurable breeze. I sat on the edge as before, and with the new sun I could see a cliff far below ours. I laughed quietly to myself, referring to this random cliff ours. I felt a warm hand on mine, and I looked to my right. Bella smiled to me and rubbed her thumb carefully cross mine.

I looked down to it and noticed my usual reaction to the sun. Under her warm, inviting hand, mine sparkled like diamonds lay just beneath my skin. Terrified, I looked up to her. She looked surprised but seeing my horrified face she giggled and lifted my hand. She rubbed her nose across it and then kissed my hand softly. My mouth hung open for a moment, shocked, but I stayed quiet and smiled.

Her eyes seemed devious and she leaned in without a word. I stayed still and watched as she grew closer to me and her eyes closed slowly. I smiled and my eyes closed as well, and our lips met.

I couldn't have described it if I'd been coherent enough to form words. Our lips flowed together like nothing else on earth. It was... too perfect. She pushed me back carefully and laid on me, her lips still moving in sync with mine. She pulled back and smiled, and rolled carefully to the right, away from the edge. I was glad for this and smiled back. Suddenly, Bella's eyes turned from the warm, inviting brown I'd grown so accustomed to, into a powerful, angry red... as mine had been when I'd killed her. Her eyes grew wide and she whispered to me again.

"I love you, my Edward." My smile grew until she reached her hands from around me to my chest. She ran her hands carefully across my chest and then she pushed me. I yelled out as I fell, and shot upward on the couch just before I hit the ocean.

I placed one hand on the couch for support and the other laid carefully on my chest. It moved in carefully with my chest as I gasped for breath, trying to regain my composure before drawing attention. I looked to the window and saw it was now dark. A heavy knock on my door belonging to Carlisle pulled me back all the way to reality.

"Edward? Are you alright? May I come in?" He knocked again and I cleared my throat.

"Oh, just a minute!" I looked back to the window and bolted, jumping to the tree nearby. I listened as Carlisle opened the door and walked to the window, watching my escape. I could hear him sigh and begin to turn.

Before I was out of hearing range he called out, "Watch over yourself, son. I don't know what's wrong but... be safe." I blinked heavily as I landed on the ground and ran...

Away.

* * *

**A/N:**

Sometimes it pisses me off at how Edward reacts to those things. He's like the biggest wuss in the world...

-sigh- I know, I write him like that. I like emotional guys, alright! Sheesh, get off my back... I'd love Jasper if they hadn't made him such an ugly girl on the movie... 0.o

Anyway... -twitch-

Review!

-dsmldejection


	6. Chapter 6

**EPOV**

Stopping at a pond, I realized that again, my eyes were black. With a depressive sigh I realized these day dreams were taking a lot out of me. With a slight crack of my neck I bent fluidly down to the ground and gave in to my senses. A rare occurrence, two mountain lion were hunting a few miles away. I pushed off from the ground and blindsided the female. I broke her neck and stood over the body, expecting the male to attack. Surprisingly, it turned and ran. With a furrowed brow I tackled it and broke its neck.

After draining them both, I disposed of the bodies and started walking home. The sun was rising, again. I sighed to myself. Another night spent in the woods hunting. I picked up the pace and let my instincts bring me home. I turned my mind to the reaction the male mountain lion had had. I felt a bit upset, knowing, in a way, I was doing the same thing. Running away. Sure I came back every morning, but it still felt cowardice. Walking up the front step I concentrated hard on my day, how I would move through every class and act when I got home. Noticing the time, I rushed upstairs and got into the shower once more. I concentrated on washing every strand of hair on my head, and focused even more on dressing and drying my hair.

I plastered on my best smile and met my siblings by the car. Despite my fake mood, the ride was quiet and awkward. I walked Alice to class and took very detailed notes, as before. The teachers did not call on me, possibly sensing my mood. Lunch was quiet, just like the car ride. I walked with my family out of the cafeteria and was quiet on the way to class. I sat in my usual class and let out a held breath, feeling relaxed.

_I'm going to make it, today. I'm going to make it._ I chanted to myself. The last few periods of the day seemed to go on endlessly, and I was ten minutes from going home free from stress when it happened.

An open window let in a rush of air from a steady breeze outside. A girl a few seats in front of me and to my right sat in front of that window. Her hair, brown, long, and flowing blew in the breeze and it reminded me vaguely of my daydreams. I blinked and saw the cliff, and was brought back to reality again. Her smell drifted to me and I was enveloped in it. _Freesia_, I thought to myself. I blinked again, seeing her beckon me to the cliff and shook the image away. Looking back to the window, I saw the seat was empty. I pulled in a careful but large breath and did not smell freesia. Panicked, I shot my hand to the air. The teacher turned.

"Yes, Mr. Cullen?" I did not remember which class I was in.

"Uhm, may I u-- use the bathroom?" I grew angry at myself for not being able to keep myself together.

He sighed. "I guess. Take your things with you, though. Have a nice weekend." I nodded on the way out and rushed away. I thought for a moment about the male mountain lion and instead of leaving the property, I turned back to the restroom and locked myself in a stall. I took a deep breath and cleared my thoughts. I closed my eyes and concentrated, trying to calm my nerves. I listened as the bell rang and Jasper came in.

"Edward, are you in here?" I laughed.

"No, it's another vampire that's sitting in a bathroom stall." He laughed darkly.

"C'mon. We both need a hunt. It's been a while since we got a bit of quiet time together." He seemed well rehearsed.

"Sure. When?" I grabbed my bag and walked out of the restroom behind him.

"Does when we get home sound okay? I'm in dire need of a hunt, at the moment." I looked to his eyes and they were the same black that mine had been all week. My mouth feel open and I quickly pulled it shut.

"Oh, I apologize for that. How about we have Alice drop us off on the way home and we get it out of the way as soon as possible?"

"Yes, thank you." I laughed and we walked to the car. Alice was in the driver's seat.

"Where shall I drop you off?" She revved the engine. We got in and I looked to Jasper.

"Just drive until we're out of sight of the school and we'll bail."

"Alright then," She said and once I closed the back door she sped off. Once I did not see our car in any of the other student's minds, I looked to Jasper. He nodded and placed a careful peck on Alice's cheek.

"Thanks, dear. See you when we get home." She smiled and we dove out of the moving car. Jasper landed on his feet without a movement, but I wavered a bit and fell over. He laughed and I shook my head.

"So I've been a little off recently! I'll show you!" I laughed and ran, breaking into the woods. We were a few miles into the woods when an idea struck me. I slowed and watched as Jasper ran off past me. He caught the scent of a bear and took off toward it. I ran behind him and waited until he snapped it's neck.

Throwing caution to the wind, I silently thanked my family and thanked Jasper especially. I laughed in almost a maniacal way and dove in front of him. I snarled as did Jasper and stayed between him and the bear at all costs. He snarled again and dove at me. I quietly thanked him as he sunk his fingers into me. I cried out, but did not feel pain as much as I felt happiness.

With a final blow I drifted back to my angel, my Bella, and I waited there with her, until the flames engulfed me. I kissed her softly and she cried, but I wiped her tear and fell asleep, as I had wanted to do for so very, very long.

* * *

**A/N:**

-watches for flying tomatoes-

o.0

Okay, so I'm way worried about you guys' reaction to this ending. I feel like I always hate the never ending... endings of all of these stories, and felt like this one HAD to be quick like this. Here's why:

Edward's decision to have Jasper unintentionally commit suicide HAD to be spur of the moment. Otherwise Alice would have seen it and stopped them. Also, Jasper HAD to do it really quick like that because he was so dry from hunger! He wanted that bear so bad that he was all animalistic and RAWR! and had to kill Edward so that he could get to his fucking bear! -oops, meep-

Sorry about the... the uhm curse there I was gonna try not to this time but Jasper kinda is sitting behind me and he's all pissed off about having to kill Edward to get to his bear so now _I'm _totally pissed off about him having to kill Edward to get to his bear... Yeah anyway...

I put some things in here that I hoped some people would notice, but none of my THREE readers have yet, so I'll point them out next chapter. BTW, next chapter will be like an epilogue...

Oh, chapter dedication to Viisikulmio Kuu... only one who reviewed last chapter but I'm pumpin' them out so fast that I don't blame you guys for not getting to keep up. Thanks, V K! (Yeah, too much of a lazy ass to write out your screen name. I copy and pasted it the first time and writing this I realize I could have just done it again, but I already wrote this beautiful little paren so I'll leave it be. -wink-)

Review, suckers! Or diiiiie! -cough-

-dsmldejection


	7. Epilogue

**JPOV**

My dear Alice found me lying dazed in a pile of... everything. I had destroyed the bear out of rage and hunger, so now it's flesh was strewn across the ground with my brother's. I let out terrified, dry sobs and she held my hand through the whole thing. I did not watch as Carlisle and the others walked silently into the clearing and gathered together all of the pieces.

I did watch, however, as my love lit a match and threw it onto the pile. Everyone's emotions were drowning me as we watched as what was left of our brother and son burnt up into a purple cloud. Of all my family, I felt that Alice was the least upset. I looked down to her and she smiled at me.

"Did anyone else listen when he would day dream at home?" We all shook our heads no.

"We knew he was stressed.... we tried to give him some privacy" Esme could barely muster the words.

"I did." My Alice said, her eyes focused deeply on the flame. "He spent his day dreams with Bella. Somehow he knew... he knew he loved her... or at least he was supposed to. I suppose the thought of her drove him insane..." She trailed off and laid her head securely on my chest. I took a deep breath and considered what I would do next. Alice noticed.

"We're not mad at you, sweetie." She smiled up to me. "He was miserable here. He just wanted to be with is Bella. And although it pains us so for him to be gone... I know I'm just happy he'll finally be happy." Everyone nodded and looked at me with sorry eyes. The mood lifted almost completely.

"I... I could feel how he felt after his day dreams. After that last one at school, he was so thirsty and I don't even think he noticed. I did... I felt so thirsty that when he got in my way... well I couldn't help it. I'm so... I'm so sorry..." I looked forward and focused too on the flame. Anything but looking into their eyes.

We stood for hours and watched at the flame grew smaller and smaller until it burnt out. Slowly each couple drifted away from the ash and walked back home. I stayed the longest, and because I stayed, so did Alice. Once dawn threatened overhead I looked down to her and frowned.

"Alice?" She looked up to me.

"Yes, dear?" She sounded at peace.

"Let's go home. I... I need to lie down." She nodded.

"Yes, let's." We turned, holding hands, and walked back home.

* * *

**A/N:**

I must admit, I'm not as good at Jasper's point of view. I really do hate having him be the 'bad guy' in a sense, and I've used Emmett as the 'bad guy' before, but I needed his... empathyness here so... -shrugs-

Okay... if you didn't notice, the cliff from Edward's day dreams was the one in La Push. The one Bella goes cliff diving from in New Moon? Yes. I thoguht it would be interesting to throw something of the Pack's in here just because they didn't have a place in this story.

I felt like going to the meadow as Alice had suggested in chapter two had less meaning because there weren't any memories of him with Bella...

I thought I remembered in one of the books in the series that Edward was seen with like... his long, slender hands picking apart his lunch or something... I tried to picture that but then I pictured a woman's hands so that kinda bothered me... 0.o

In chapter three, Jasper did not come to help Edward with... well what was left of Bella. He probably would have fought with Edward over her blood... I can just picture -arnold schwartzenwhatthefuckishislastname voice- GIRLY MAN Jasper sitting all emo at the lunch table by himself... xD

Haha... in chapter three Alice smacked Edward... like FOUR TIMES! HAHAHAHAHA!!! -clears throat- -straightens shirt-... MOVING ON!

Chapter four... I think I made Jacob run off in one of my other stories, and I swear to god I picture the same fucking rock with the same little pond thingy that EVERYONE goes to when they run off in my stories... how odd... 0.o

-giggles- Edward was NAKED in chapter four!! xD

Okay, that's all I got. In this chapter I ALMOST made Jasper make a joke... but it didn't fit right with the whole... you know sad thing so... yeah. Anyway I was gonna say that HE was gonna say there was no dry eye as they watched the fire... but obviously ALL of their eyes would be dry because they CANT cry!! -doubles over laughing- Okay not that funny but what ever...

I totally loved those daydreams Edward had. They were my FAVORITE part of this whole story! That and the interest of killing Edward off for like the zillionth time since I started writing... I'm an Edward fan but DAMN it's fun to kill him...

Anyway... I'll be writing more soon so... yeah go read it! Put me on author alert! Go read my other stuff or something! -cough-

-dsmldejection


	8. Author's Note!

**A/N:**

Hey guys, it's your favorite writer dsmldejection here again! I know, that was a little big headed, but I figure I deserve a little schmoozing seeing as I'm here updating.

The important news is, I'm going to start working on another work! It's probably going to be the one who is advertized on the poll on my page!

Obviously, the story will have to develop in a chapter or two before the actual problems talked about arise, so you still have a chance to get in a vote! So far, losing her sense of smell is winning, and I'm very happy about that. I'd love to do something so... so interestingly unique in my mind.

So go vote! I'll take down the poll once it comes time that I have to write that part.

Put me on author alert if you already haven't! That's the only way you'll see when I come out with a new story!

Hope to see you at the new story!

-dsmldejection


End file.
